I like to get me some of them virtually unbreakable polyresin. I'm mighty hard on them fecal tongs.
Have we struck the tip of your iceberg of depravity?
Where can I buy some?
Hey you turdbutt. Get a life!
I don't know nothing bout no fecal tongs, but some metamucil wafers
sure do work good. I'd like to try them tongs though. Where do I get me some?
Never, in my entire life, have I seen anything as wonderful as a fecal
tong. You are to be commended for making such a site! Bravo, indeed.
—Kristian (Special K) Van Horn
You had me there for a while. Good job.
Words fail me. Really nice page design, though.
I never knew there were so many varieties of tongs. Great Work!
—Dr. Willhelm Essen-Scheisse
In response to an earlier entry: whoever this "turdbutt" is, I'd
say he's found himself a life. I wonder how many times I wished I had a pair of
even those flimsy disposable types to handle a tricky bowel discharge. Naturaly
I make do with whatever I can find and have the bowel discharges to prove I'm
quite handy at what I do. Keep up the good work and always remember:
"If it's yellow it's mellow; if it's brown, flush it down"
It is interesting to see the similarities between salad tongs and
fecal tongs. In either instance I can see their utility when it comes to having
one's salad tossed.
I don't think I've ever been more proud of you than I am right now.
All this time I just used my fingers, who knew!!!!!
Fecal Tongs? When does the Atari 2600 collection get page?
—Rocky "Kaboom" McIntyre
Very creative, one looks remarkably similar to pasta tongs. Must be
an Italian model.
—Dr. T. VanderSchiesse
This is what they teach you at Carolina, huh?
Relief is just a tong away!
Tongs for the Memories....
Finally, No more stinkfist.
I sure hope dad washed our tongs before using them on the grill.
It would be useful to have some description of exactly what fecal tongs are used
for (if I just missed it, I apologize). I thought I had some idea, but looking
at the designs, I'm probably incorrect.
Just to make sure everything comes out all right in the end, huh? Truly a
one-of-a-kind collection. Do you take submissions?
I have a rare egyptian fecal tong for sale. It is made out of papyrus and reeds.
I only used it once. Wanna buy it?
man where do you get these tongs, i have a really sore itch up my bum, i tried
using a pen and lost it in there.
Nice one; reminds me of the stairmaster. Are they patented?
Do you TONG on the first date?
—Store in a cool, dry place.
I have two sets of Tongan Tongs for only $2.22. The polished teak and dual
brass hinge provides both rigidity and flexibility for those difficult to reach
areas. Plus, I have yet to find a tool that is better at picking the fat off a
—Creamy Pig Fat
I could really go for a big tong hit right now
—Barry. Barry Larkin.
You certainly seem to have a good grip on this slippery subject.
—The Immovable Object
I once had a dream about Fecal Tongs. Ironically enough,
it involved that dude
who played "Hutch" in Starskey and Hutch as well as the Muppet Gonzo (Fecal Tong
shaped nose). I do not want to recount here what happened, except to say that,
whoa daddy, I thought I knew about fecal tongs, but was sadly mistaken. Needless
to say, I have never been the same since. Keep up the good work, my friend.
So...what is a "fecal tong" anyways?
Fecal tongs have saved my life many a times.. You all should know what i mean,
when it get stuck to far in, you always have a friend to go in and get it.. I
have found another thing out they work well if your having a bar-b-q they flip
the burgers quite well. This is one of gods greatest creations...Love
— GRANDE...Christopher Sanford.. Big Chris
Can you really do anything with tongs that you can't do with a cup of coffee, a
bowl of Cracklin' Oat Bran, and a bent hanger?
— Sitting Here Broken Hearted
Omg my name is tokko and you smell like turbut bugboy
— ill eat you
are these for real? many of the ornate ones look like they would puncture
the colon if inserted in the anus.
Someone is going to have to explain this to me. What do George Harrison, Genkis
Kahn and the ambulance service have in common?
can someone tell what the heck a fecal thong is for??
This is the best use of the words "fecal" and "tong" I have ever seen in my
life. Me thinks she is a bit green with envy.
Would those tongs help me get the dingleberrys offn my butt?
I see that you've missed the darkroom version--there's a wealth
of variation there waiting for you at the photo store.
I apparently have several sets of FTs in my home, and never
really knew their full potential. I'm at work now, but I might take off early
to get started exploring their uses.
— allec mendax
I'm so proud of you (even though I know I should have gone for
the caesarian). How are those dints in your forehead these days?
I guess you can just call me lucky as I will never have a need
for those tricky expensive tongs. I have explosive diarhhea all the time (a
medical problem). Though messy and embarassing, I've turned this foul problem
into a goldmine, I call it explosive art, just send me a heavy 24x24 paper and
I'll let one explode on it, let it dry and cover it with a clear poly resin,
She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like what, what, what
All night long
Let me see that tong
Baby I know you wanna show
Duh dun duh
That tong tong tong tong tong
I just came.
Did George Harrison perform at your Bar Mitzvah? What songs did
he play? Was he still in the Beatles then? Did he have a back up band or was he
— Long Tong Silver
The perfect Xmas gift for all.
— Dr. Biff
I am really amazed about how much effort you have put into
making a good and informative site about fecal tongs. But I have to inform you
that you have enraged quite some members of the Norwegian fecal tong community
in claiming that the Kongsberg Silverworks is a Finnish enterprise. Finland may
have Nokia and the sauna, but Kongsberg Silverworks have provided the Norwegian
people with fecal tongs and other silverware since 1686 and is still located in
— Fecal tong community member, Trondheim, Norway
I learned a new verb today: tonging. One letter away from
tonguing. Very interesting. Make sure to do your tonging before you do your
tonguing. Also, has everyone heard of a wonderful product called Colon Cleanse?
It could very well render tonging obsolete.
— I will sign myself with my initials, which are appropriately B.M.
Wow. If anyone's really that obsessed with a collection of
tools used for pulling turds and other miscellany (I assume) out of their ass,
then all I can say is 1.) buy a large bottle of Turbolax 2.) don't put anything
up there that shouldn't be there to begin with (unless you're into packin'
fudge, that's a one way street) 3.) GET A REAL HOBBY AND A LIFE!! This website
is only a testament to the fact that there is entirely too much worthless
information on the internet! Keep it in the closet buddy!
— Fecal what?
Anytime you put "discharge" in reference to the human body, you
KNOW you've got something good!
Always remember: Flush twice . . . it's a long way to heaven.
Now, could you pass me the, uhm . . . nevermind.
You should know that natural fiber laxative comes in pleasant
orange and lemon flavors nowadays, and it's not too expensive if you buy the
generic brand ... check it out ... really
— Fonstock P. Bodrie
Great website, I've got a pair of Fecal Tongs that my grandma
used to own, they are turn-of-the-century and are a very rare and valuable
antique. It is a family heirloom I'll hang on to and hand down to my own grand
children. -- www.sirmildredpierce.com
— Sir Mildred Pierce
Thanks so much...after years of bafflement, I now know what my
doctoral dissertation should be about. I'll leave it up to you to decide if I am
studying Anthropology or Psychology. In either case, the site offers plenty of
— Cecil Poole
Do they have tongs for trouser chili? I imagine it must be
some sort of scoop. The trouser chili is a devious foe.
— Soggy Trousers
Of all the fecal tong sites that I surf through every day, this
is one of the best. I would vote "two prongs up" for ya..!!
— Boundup in Boston USW
ha ha, he said 'fecal tongues'.
Funny! I laughed until I snorted. You rock!
I have long been fascinated by the history of fecal tongs.
They're such a common utensil, and as such, I think too many people take them
for granted. I applaud your collection and the time you've taken to illustrated
the varied and wonderful history of this most intimate of tools.
When will the gift shop open?
When she left she took half, but that included ALL of the tongs.
As you can imagine I'm in a bit of a pickle (or is it in me?)
you are awsome.
I was married recently and it was a special moment when my
father passed down to me our family fecal tongs (circa. 1822. Gold-plated,
swing action, family crest...the works). My wife and I are looking forward to
years of satisfying, and medically necessary, tonging.
— Andrew Suthard
Ummm... I was wondering if there was such a thing as a Fecal
— In a Bad Place...
Here we inform you that we are manufacturer and exporter ofVeterinay/Horse and
Live stock instruments.
I have come to know that you are one of the best supplier in europe and U.S.A.
We are providing our product in local and International market for Last 25
Years. And our customer are satified with our quality and prices, if you have
any inquiry about our product pls don't hesitate to contact with us,we will send
you our samples product and prices for your favourable conideration. We also
study your web site, we cover all the product range whichyou mentioned in you
We are waiting for you affairmative reply.
Thanks and best regards,
MIT Surgical Instruments
Norgate street cantt road,
PH# 0092 432 594693
Fax# 0092 432 594693
— IMRAN MUNIR
Hello! I have the porcelain store.
Your site is useful for me.
My site is 800-PORCELAIN.com.
— Porcelain Man
WOW.......I am speechless........Who would of thunk!
— sat of wla
I'm a restaurant owner who wants to accelerate the spread of
Hepatitis B in the swiftest manner possible. Is it okay to use fecal tongs on a
— T.G.I. Friday